We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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