i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
