god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
