I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
