She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
