Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
