"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
