Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
