are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Two words: blizzard sex
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
