And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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