Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize