i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
