i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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