So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
