you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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