Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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