just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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