tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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