you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
