Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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