I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
