Sponge bath it is.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
