My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
