all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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