I looked at my own cervix.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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