Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
