wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
