so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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