Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
