I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
