Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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