Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
