Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
