So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
