haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
