Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
