i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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