i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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