Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
