you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
