Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
