we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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