i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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