For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
