I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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