its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
ttyl tear gas
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
