I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We left the knife in your bed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
