I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
