Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
