**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
