do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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