I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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