We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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