i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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